Marisa. George. And Marriage.

I hear it almost all the time.

What's wrong with you? Why aren't you married with children yet? You're just too picky about men. Find one and settle down.

First of all, there's NOTHING wrong with me.

Second, I have NO idea why I'm not married with children yet. Well, except for the third point.

I'm not picky about men. Really. I know people may think I am, but the truth is, I settled once and I won't do it again. I'm not going to settle for Lancelot when it is Galahad I want. Why should I?

Ever since there was a society, women have always been the ones that have been asked why they weren't married. It is always the woman's fault that she's not married. And I have always wondered why.

Why isn't anyone looking at George Clooney, asking him those same questions. George, what's wrong with you? Find yourself a good woman and settle down and have some kids, for crying out loud!

It's okay with society if George Clooney says he's the "Ultimate Bachelor", but Marisa Tomei says (and I AM quoting here): I'm not that big a fan of marriage as an institution and I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings. and she is being CRITICIZED! WTF?

Why is it okay for men to not be fans of marriage and kids, but not a woman?

I'm not saying that all women need to burn their bras and become men haters. I wish I was married with kids, but here is what it is: I'm pretty happy, despite some days. I have no one else to be responisble for, and being unemployed and feeling down a couple days out of every couple months , means, if I want to sleep all day, I can on those days.

I can come and go as I please and not check in with anyone (out of politeness).

I am a fan of marriage, but it is not necessary in my world. I am a completed painting. I'm just missing my frame.

I don't need a man to complete me. I need a man to compliment me.

And, apparently, there's something that society fears from that.

Me or Them?

In talking to my mom the other day, she told me a story about a "spinster" she went to church with as a young girl. The lady said (adn I realize I'm paraphrasing here) that she was walking through the woods (dating life) and throwing aside "crooked stick", (men being men) because she believed there was a "perfect stick" (Josh Groban. haahaa...not really. The ideal man), only to find that there was no "perfect stick". She indicated that I would throw men away because I always found fault with them.

She brought a guy up from years ago. "He was so enamoured by you, but you threw him to the side."

I bit my tongue. Why is it that I'm supposed to get involved with a guy because HE'S enamoured with me? Isn't it just as important for me to be enamoured by him?

So, after cooling off for a couple days (because it really bothered me), I sent her a text. I pretty much stated that I wasn't afraid of the shortcomings of the guys, but afraid that my shortcomings would scare them off.

Am I so perfect that I have no shortcomings? No.

I tend to think a lot of the times like the teen I wish I still was. I tend to overdramatize situations (though I'm learning to change this). I'm Irish, so hence, I have the Irish stubborness. I have the Swedish pride. I hate men thinking that I live only to serve them and I am unable to live with out having one in my life.

I do wish I was married and had kids, but the truth is that my parents did such a good job of raising me to be such an independant self-reliant woman, that it tends to scare men away. I would like to have a man, but I don't need one.

And, yes. There is a difference.

I am a perfectly compelte painting. I'm just waiting for my frame.

And I've started to give up hoping that he's out there.